


one touch

by irrationalqueer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, slight drunken shenanigans but like super mild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26862946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrationalqueer/pseuds/irrationalqueer
Summary: There’s something just incredibly bold about touching each other in public, even when it’s completely innocent.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 26
Kudos: 73





	one touch

Phil’s hand burns like a brand on his lower back. Dan can feel the weight of it, heavier than it ought to be, all the way down to his toes. Like the literal gravity of the situation is keeping him frozen. They’d been standing here in the corner of this gathering, something they’d committed to ages ago without really thinking about it, and pretty much as soon as they’d walked in Dan wanted to leave. Phil can always tell. He’d led them to grab drinks from the bar and then led them to this dark corner, slinging an arm around his waist and squeezing him briefly before sliding away to nurse his drink and look out at the other guests. 

There’s something just incredibly bold about touching each other in public, even when it’s completely innocent. It used to be such a big deal - one part the fact that Dan’s well aware of how their natural chemistry comes across on film and the assumptions people make from that and one part a sad commentary on the hypermasculinity two men in their twenties are just expected to exude at all times with each other. They’ve stopped caring as much; they’re basically in each other's laps most of the time without even noticing so there’s really no point in pretending it’s accidental. But it still feels new, even though it’s been a gradual change over the last few years. And Phil doesn’t usually just...hold him in a room full of people. Not since he was a teenager, anyway. He feels better for it, though, more grounded. Dan’s not going to stop thinking about whether or not people are watching them, but he’s also not going to pretend to hate it or that he’d rather be anywhere else.

They’ve been here for a couple of hours; Dan’s made a couple of circulations around the room to say hello to everyone and each time he’d returned, Phil had seemed a little rosier, a little more expansive. Phil’s lucky that the mix of alcohol and company does this to him. Dan just feels more anxious than usual. He’d rejoined Phil for the third time, fresh drinks for both of them in hand, and that’s when Phil had casually reached for him, slid his arm around Dan’s waist and dipped his fingertips just below Dan’s waist band. Dan had done everything in his power not to jump - it feels better than it has any right to, Phil’s fingers against the bare skin of his back. 

He’s not even paying attention to Dan. He’s chatting amiably to Louise on his right, while Dan is apparently carrying on a conversation with someone who’s name he’s already tragically forgotten, once again a victim of his own distraction. He can tell Phil’s drunker than he is from the way he’s laughing a little louder, swaying a little closer to Louise. They’re close to the wall; maybe that’s why nobody has said anything? Surely they’ve noticed. He can practically hear the whispers, but it’s so dark and loud in here that he can’t be sure he’s not imagining it. Phil’s stroking his back, dragging his thumb gently up and down the little patch of skin he can reach under Dan’s shirt, and Dan might be actually going insane. They’re always more or less glued to each other’s sides anyway, but surely this is a little extreme. 

None of these people know, because they haven’t told them, and they don’t plan on it. But they still know; Dan’s sure of it. Even in all of their conversations about the possibility of coming out, explicitly outlining their relationship for the sake of people who don’t really matter has never been on the table. It’s nobody’s business, and they’ve been hurt enough by the mocking in the past, Phil in particular. So for Phil to be pulling Dan closer in a crowded room, to be squeezing hard at his hip and whispering in his ear, telling Dan to take him to their room even though it’s only half eleven and people will definitely see - it’s a bravery Dan wasn’t prepared for. It’s a whole thing, the way they’ve decided they don’t want to be boxed in by other people’s expectations or assumptions. But Dan didn’t know it was going to be this obvious. He’s not mad about it, he knows they don’t actually have to answer for any of the assumptions people will make. 

“You have to let go of me if you want to leave,” Dan says, raising an eyebrow at Phil. Phil rolls his eyes but releases Dan’s waist, dragging his fingertips along his skin the whole time and somehow making it feel like so much more than the chaste touch it is. 

“I can do whatever I want,” Phil says, grabbing the half-empty drink from Dan’s hand and dropping it on the table nearby, lacing their fingers together. 

Dan snorts, squeezing his hand briefly before dropping it and grabbing his elbow instead, guiding him through the room. Phil’s maybe pretending to be drunker than he is, probably so that Dan literally dragging him out of the room doesn’t look quite as suspicious, but people just seem charmed by them, smiling back when they offer awkward waves as they walk through them. Martyn and Cornelia had been here at some point, but Dan thinks they probably left pretty early - this event isn’t really for them, and Dan’s pretty sure they’d been able to find something much cooler to do on a Saturday night in LA.

They make it to the elevator mostly without incident, Phil managing not to take them both down by tripping over anyone or anything. Dan had only booked two rooms for this short trip - one double, one single. He’s not going to think too hard about how people think the rooms are divided up between the four of them. He’s pretty sure people will have all sorts of theories in a few months when they start traveling for the tour, and he’s saving his energy for that. Phil’s smiling at him kind of goofily, and actually maybe he is as drunk as he seems. He rarely gets like this in front of people who aren’t family, but when he does he’s really good at faking sober. He’s not a control freak like Dan, but he is hyper aware of his professional image in a way Dan is far more relaxed about.

Dan pushes the button for their floor and Phil reaches up, stabbing a finger into Dan’s cheek. Dan rolls his eyes, but he can feel his face is probably pretty red and Phil’s going to see right through his put-upon annoyance. “Pretty,” Phil says, reaching up to tug on a curl. 

Dan snorts, swatting his hand away. “Hands off, Lester,” he says, reaching up out of habit to smooth the curl down again. 

Phil reaches out and gropes Dan through his trousers, startling a laugh out of him. “Hands on,” he says, pouting a little bit when Dan smacks his hand away again.

“Jesus, you’re a menace,” Dan says, marveling a little bit. This man is officially in his thirties. It’s entirely ridiculous that he can act like a drunken horny teenager and Dan can find it endearing rather than annoying. “Do you think you can control yourself for a couple more minutes?”

Phil sighs rather dramatically, exhaling wine breath all over Dan’s face. “I’ll control your self in a minute,” he says nonsensically, leaning against the wall of the elevator and staring at Dan. 

Dan just rolls his eyes, grateful that they’re at least alone in the elevator. Phil’s not a complete idiot, he would keep himself together in front of anyone else, but Dan kind of likes seeing him like this, loose and silly. Phil’s dealt with a drunk and handsy Dan more times than either of them can probably remember at this point, and Dan’s well aware that he’d been a far more obnoxious drunk in his teens and early twenties than Phil ever was. Phil’s just cute, demonstrative and flirty like he was when he and Dan first met. Dan loves every version of Phil, but he has a soft spot for the stupid drunk version of him.

They reach their floor and Dan guides Phil into his room, kicking the door shut behind him. He doesn’t even manage to get his shoes off before Phil’s in his arms, kissing him hard and hungry and shoving him back until his head slams into the door. Dan laughs even as he groans from the pain, shoving Phil back by the shoulders a little bit and rubbing the back of his head gingerly. 

“Thanks for that, stupid,” he says, guiding Phil by the shoulders to sit down on the bed, toeing his shoes off as he goes. Phil pats his arm apologetically, making an exaggerated pouty face that has Dan giggling and kissing him briefly. He sinks to his knees to take Phil’s shoes off for him, snorting when Phil tips his hips up suggestively. “Are you even hard?” he says, planting a kiss on each knee before he stands up, looking down at him.

“No, s’not important,” Phil says, pulling Dan down. Dan allows it for a moment; they’ve been together longer than Dan can properly think about, they know each other and they’ve got boundaries and limits, and this isn’t crossing any of them. They could take this however far they wanted, but his head is actually throbbing and Phil’s about five minutes from passing out. So he kisses Phil back, slowing it down and gentling it until it’s just a soft press of their lips together. He pulls back, pressing a kiss to Phil’s forehead and smiling at the contented little hum Phil makes. Dan shakes his head, stepping back a little bit to kick his jeans off and pull his shirt off, stepping back to help Phil where he’s clumsily trying to unbutton his own shirt. 

“You good, Phil?” he says, aware of exactly how fond he sounds, that he’s probably still blushing a little bit, his face always giving him away.

“‘m good, Danny,” Phil slurs, and Dan can tell at this point it’s mostly just exhaustion. It’s not even late, but He reaches over to plug their phones in as Phil flops down on his side, grabbing the duvet and yanking it up over his head. 

Dan climbs into the bed next to him, jumping a little bit as Phil rolls over into his body, shoving his cold feet between Dan’s and nearly kneeing him in the balls. Phil mutters something that sounds like it could be an apology in whatever alien language Phil’s home planet speaks, pushing his forehead into Dan’s neck and huffs a contented breath against his collarbones. He slings an arm around Dan’s waist, shoving his hand down the back of Dan’s pants to rest on his ass. Dan just rolls his eyes, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and kissing his temple. It still feels like Phil’s holding him in place, in a way that feels heavier than the way he’s wrapped himself around Dan octopus-style. Even drunk and mostly asleep, even drooling on his neck and groping his ass, Phil still manages to make Dan feel grounded.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted drunk phil and thinky dan, idk. i'm imagining this sometime in early 2018, but beyond that feel free to use your imagination lmao
> 
> title from they don't know about us by one direction.
> 
> find me on tumblr @ irrationalqueer.


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